well... u all may see tat i had been updatin my blog for the past few days... i dunno y also... but i just wan to quickly type tis down now...

just finish chatting wit my fren on the phone just now... yea well.. i knoe it's workin time... but whu cares... wen someone call... i seldom ignore calls... it's kind of random though... my fren mention tat his grandparents just passed away not along ago... n ask me to cherish thm wen they r still arnd...

thn it come to my mind... wenever someone mention tis... i feel lky my mood is down straightaway... cos wen my ah ma passed away... i'm in spore... while my parents went bak... n tat time i remember tat i'm goin to hav my end of yr exam... i even argue wit my parents tat i wanna go bak to see her... cos i know tat my ah ma is the one tat cares n dotes on me most among my tis generation... cos i'm the youngest in the generation... n i always remember wen i'm still bak thn at indonesia... she used to stay over at my place... n i always the one whu will always wan to slp wit her... tok to her... n wen my dad wanna beat me... she will always b infront of me not to allow my dad to cane me... of cos... i promise her tat i will go visit her wen i am able to earn my 1st income... but thn... i dun even hav the chance...

i can even remember tat wen the whole family visit her at medan... i will just stick to her... she will bring me go arnd the small village called siantar... we walk n eat n chat... i really enjoy the times i spend wit her... the last time i saw her... is bfor i came to spore... she even gave me some of her savings which she took out from a biscuit tin can... in which of cos infront of the whole family... infront of my aunties n uncles... which tat time they r lky scolding my ah ma while giv me so much money to me... the money is bundled in a rubber band... n i can clearly see the small notes n big notes bundled up just lky tat... my aunts, uncles n my parents r lky keep on askin her to keep the money... until she shouted at thm... " tis means i cannot give anyting to my beloved grandson izzit...? he is goin off to spore alredy... yet is tis how u all treat an old lady...?"... she raised her voice till the whole hse is in quite out of sudden... i'm lky very shocked oso... cos in my entire life... tat's the only time i saw my ah ma raise her voice... she even asked me not to anyhow spend the money away... i do believe tat it is her savings... even till now... i still hav tat money tat she gave me...

but i found tat i am being unfillial to her... i nv even hav the chance to see her for the last time.. even though i knoe... it's not just me... but i heard from my parents saying tat she called everyone of our names bfor she left the world... especially my name a few times... until my dad called n ask me to chat wit her... she is so happy tat time... but she left the world the following night... i really feel bad tat i nv go n see her for the last time... but well it's over alredy... n it had been years since she had left oso... but... i will make sure tat if i got the chance to go to medan... i will pray infront of her grave... tat's the best i can do now... n i will always love her in my hearts...

so to all my frens out ther... if u still hav ur grandparents wit u all... do cherish thm...

signing off,
JR

dated:10th September 2009
time: 4.40 pm